https://allpoetry.com/poem/12817696-Nothingness-by-Tuniabjc
Nothingness
back in 1982
My headaches became so severe
I went to the doctor to find out why
First I saw my own family's physician.
He thought it was the flu, so gave me pills
He just didn't have any solid answer.
so I was sent to my neurologist.
he was told to do a spinal tap
But he hesitated on doing that
As he wanted to be sure about it.
So he ran a CT Scan and other tests.
He came out and told my parents
that he found a brain tumor
and if he had done the spinal tap
the pressure would have caused my head to explode.
It was both benign and malignant.
two weeks later I had the surgery
Everything seemed to be going smooth
or so that is what they said
But my heart stopped, the lines went flat
They thought they had lost me.
They had to be careful with me
as they had my skull open
while they gave my heart a zap
the surgeon lifted his hands
I had them really worried
During that time of nothingness
I was in a sort of limbo
Not quite gone completely yet
not alert and aware of things
They did manage to bring me back
Afraid of failing at it was my guess.
Before it went totally to calm
I just remember hearing them say
We're losing her doctor
I remember seeing myself laying there
on the cold hard steal then it was gone
There was no white light when I died
Just a dreamless black void
Nothing to really fear at all.
I guess it was'nt really my time to go
but because I was able to be revived
The next thing I knew I was in bed
surrounded by my loved ones.
All with tears flowing from their eyes
I looked at them seriously asking what's up
My dad found his voice *you died* is what he said
But came back to be with us.
We are so relieved and thankful
We can't imagine the world with you in it
my mom was in agreement and crying
Saying you can expect all this fuss.
©Bonnie J Hollywood-Cutts
Nothingness
back in 1982
My headaches became so severe
I went to the doctor to find out why
First I saw my own family's physician.
He thought it was the flu, so gave me pills
He just didn't have any solid answer.
so I was sent to my neurologist.
he was told to do a spinal tap
But he hesitated on doing that
As he wanted to be sure about it.
So he ran a CT Scan and other tests.
He came out and told my parents
that he found a brain tumor
and if he had done the spinal tap
the pressure would have caused my head to explode.
It was both benign and malignant.
two weeks later I had the surgery
Everything seemed to be going smooth
or so that is what they said
But my heart stopped, the lines went flat
They thought they had lost me.
They had to be careful with me
as they had my skull open
while they gave my heart a zap
the surgeon lifted his hands
I had them really worried
During that time of nothingness
I was in a sort of limbo
Not quite gone completely yet
not alert and aware of things
They did manage to bring me back
Afraid of failing at it was my guess.
Before it went totally to calm
I just remember hearing them say
We're losing her doctor
I remember seeing myself laying there
on the cold hard steal then it was gone
There was no white light when I died
Just a dreamless black void
Nothing to really fear at all.
I guess it was'nt really my time to go
but because I was able to be revived
The next thing I knew I was in bed
surrounded by my loved ones.
All with tears flowing from their eyes
I looked at them seriously asking what's up
My dad found his voice *you died* is what he said
But came back to be with us.
We are so relieved and thankful
We can't imagine the world with you in it
my mom was in agreement and crying
Saying you can expect all this fuss.
©Bonnie J Hollywood-Cutts